susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
