I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
