too bad you live with your parents still
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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