tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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