Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
