don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize