He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
