I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
