We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
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