I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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