And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
