If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
