he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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