Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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