Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
