Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
