I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
