Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
