now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My balls are so social today.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
