I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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