If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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