Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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