im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
