Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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