she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
