Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
