You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
