Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
