First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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