If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My cat gives me a boner
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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