I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
