Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
