Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
