hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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