Your mouth is God's brothel.
one might say we're banned from that church
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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