She is in my trunk
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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