Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
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No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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