you traded sex for a burrito?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
