2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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