Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
