i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
