Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
nutella sex= disaster
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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