they need to just BURY HIM!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
