In the future we'll all be gay
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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