I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
