Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Slut skills are useful in every country.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
