I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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