I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
