Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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