I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
