i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She even gives head with a lisp.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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