Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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