pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
