I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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