My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
