you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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