How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
