first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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