The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We left the knife in your bed.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
