she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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