i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
