I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
