that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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