It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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