thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
