a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
