I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
