I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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