I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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