God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize