There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
